Tutorial: How to NOT CRJ-1000

Welcome to my best tutorial in the world. In this topic, I will explain step by step, how to not CRJ-1000. From takeoff, to landing. Enjoy!

Trust the CRJ

Flight: LEPA-LEPA
Server: Solo
Aircraft: Ugh…

Disclaimer: this topic is a joke, and should not be taken seriously. The only serious thing tho, is the fact that there are pictures in this topic, following the guidelines


Section One: Takeoff

1st Step: when it’s time to rotate, use 50% or more of your rudder to fight against the crosswind, but you need to do it abruptly. If you do this procedure perfectly, you will get a tailstrike, as shown below.


Step 2: once airborne, pull the joke to your stomach, and you will get a nice stall


Step 3: The pefect procedure to recover from a CRJ-1000 Stall, is to use the rudder in the opposite direction. At this time, you started to trust the CRJ, and you are 300% sure that it will keep you safe in all times.


Step 4: You crash the CRJ, but remember that you trust now the plane, so nothing happens: you just go underground and then you will be on a cruise ALT of 3000ft in a matter of seconds.


Section 2: Cruise

Step 1: Nothing eventual will happen, so if you want to, go to 440KIAS and you will enter the roller coaster mode.


Section 3: Final approach and landing

Step 1: Tight ILS intercepts are always good for this CRJ’s health, and yours. So do a 180° intercept, with a bank angle of more than 45°, with your nose really up, at 160KIAS, flaps “clean”.


Step 2: Looks like a normal approach… but you are actually in a “deep stall”. All part of the landing procedures, so you don’t have to worry about it :)


Step 3: You are about to land. It looks bad, but you have now full trust of the CRJ-1000, so, nothing will happen to everyone!


Step 4: You safely landed into LEPA after a confortable and a safe flight. Another daily flight with the CRJ is done!


Thank you for having a look. Remember: this is how NOT to CRJ-100!

Happy Landings :D

Yes @Butter_Boi I know, your radar cannot locate the funny ;)

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thank u sir u teach me how to fly thank u

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u welcome sir. Glad to teach u how to fly :)

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Thanks you for this nice tutorial

I have a question

My crj(Crappy regional jet)went underground and now im in space with all the doors open

what now?

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Thank you so much, I’ll have to use this in the expert server ;)

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You did something wrong with the procedures then :(

Insert “no one asked” here ;)

You are most welcome :D

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Excuse me

one of my passengers named Karen wants to speak to my manager because of my poor landing performance

What do I do

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They dont know how landings are. Leave it from there 😜

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Thank you, will use this in the real world when I’m a pilot. I’m sure my superiors will be thrilled to hear my new techniques!

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This flying style is dominating now 🤪

Nice tutorial, for everyone to perish

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I doubt about that ;)

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We totally will survive the first flight with this tutorial 😉 :)

great 😊, now we need a how not to land a 737 tutorial

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That’s interesting, I hope A220 or A359 will be next !

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I’m already planning another tutorial ;)

image

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Tank you for this tutorial, help very much

Problemo: one of my passengers got sucked through one of the toilet holes and is now hurtling through the sky. He texted me and said he’s very upset and doesn’t know what to do, so I told him I’d text him back with what he should do. Got any tips?

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U r welcom!

Fill a lawsuit against the toilet :(

Yea but what do I do about my friend? He’d rather not involuntarily shapeshift into a 2-dimensional pancake.