Tutorial: How to NOT B744

Two months until April 1st, but who cares?

Join me as we learn how not to fly the B747-400!

Bye Bye "wannabe regulars" 17.1
  • Aircraft: Look below…
  • Route: A good old route
  • Airports: Use your minds and guess it…
  • Flight Time: do you do maths or what?
  • Passengers: 340 adults, 4 kids, 30 babies, 40 clowns.
  • Cargo: 10 fake missiles at real scale.

All of these rated 10/10 in this flight!

Section 1: Takeoff

Step 1: You start your takeoff roll at 50& N1. Remember that this airport is an aircraft carrier but in an island, so don’t use flaps, despiting the huge people and fake missiles that are in the plane.

Step 2: “We paid the whole runway, so we use the whole runway”. Get ready to stall as you reach 180KIAS. You have to fully trust the plane before that point, so nothing happens to anyone.

Step 3: Go to the sea so you can get extra boost from the sharks. The plane seems to be panakin of joy, which is a great sign of a great flight!

Step 4: The Miami dolphins actually lifted you up, and you will now be on a cruise altitude of 4000ft in no time!

Section 2: Cruise

Step 1: the B744 in particular, has the feature of flying upside down, which gains EXTRA security in the flight. But you actually see some mountains and want to go there, because you are bored.

Step 2: Ignore those missiles and go to the mountains, and do a flyby at 630KIAS. Make sure your wingtip touches the terrain!!!

After that, return to the cruise alt and fly upside down.

Section 3: Landing

Step 1: WHO really cares about STARS? The B744’s do Kai Tak style approaches. So at 7 miles from the threeshold, start a normal descend of -5000fpm, with the landing gear down, at 350KIAS. Just a boring procedure for this flight’s pilot.

Step 2: Still at 300KIAS, you start your final turn with a angle of max 90°. You trust the plane so much, that you retract the landing gear, as it was used as “air-brakes”.

Step 3: Just flare like a space shuttle, ok?

And here you go: another daily B744 flight is done! Unfortunately the missiles “exploded”, something that shouldn’t happen, but they were filled with Snickers.

So: Free chocolate for everyone! :D

Ok bye! :)

For the love of mini-mods, this flight was made on solo.


I have a stomach ache you made me laugh so much!!!

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O well I didn’t expect that ;)

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This you?

Yeah, along with probably 75 more people. Glad you are interested in knowing it :)

Joking around btw

I’m going to try this on the expert server with active ATC. Thanks for the helpful tutorial!!


Let me know if it works!

Most welcome :)

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I’ll make sure to let you know!! This is perfectly legal right?

No. But if you wish to challenge the law, do it. :)

Ah it will be fine, not like they can send F16s after me…

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I just got a speeding violation, is that a good thing?

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Abort the mission then. I award your bravery tho :)

Okay, I will after I try your landing technique showed in the tutorial above. Should I ask ATC for clearance to land…? I think they should be fine with it… right?

Sent you a PM with the secrets ;)

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Thats goodd!!! Hahah man, if only… thats what usually happens on casual server, no?🤣


I don’t think meme topics are allowed like this

jk lol, this is hilarious, and it made my day :)

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You definitely made my day !

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Legally yes

shhh don’t give any ideas ;)

Wow, thanks guys!


Now what?


That was fantastic. I will certainly use that lol

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