This is why I like Controlling on the Playground

I get funny looks from the wife when I’m sitting grumbling at the iPad :-)

ATC: Heavy123 taxi to 26L
Heavy123: Taxiing to 26L
ATC: Then why on God’s earth are you to taxiing to 26R?
Heavy: Holding short runway 26L
ATC: No you’re not. sighs ‘Taxi to 26L’
Heavy123: Request takeoff runway 26L remaining in the pattern.
ATC: You’re on 26 RIGHT!! They’re clearly bloody marked. They even have a handy ‘L’ and ‘R’ for those that are directionally challenged… ‘Please follow instructions’, ‘refer to help pages’. You muppet.
ATC: So you’re just going to takeoff anyway are you? Well done. And you’re going straight out, I thought you were remaining in the pattern?
Heavy123: ‘Request Frequency Change’
ATC: Approved… now away and boil your head. AND ACTUALLY CHANGE YOUR SODDING FREQUENCY.

ATC: Speedbird235 where exactly do you think you’re going? I didn’t approve you to enter the runway. ‘Exit runway’. Now.
Speedbird235: ‘I’m Sorry’
ATC: If you were sorry you’d actually get off the runway and not continue to ignore my instructions while taking off regardless.

BoobiesLOL: ‘Inbound for landing, runway 15’
ATC: No, you can clearly see how the traffic is being sequenced not to mention the 20kts tailwind you’ll have to deal with in that runway. ‘Enter left traffic runway 33’
BoobiesLOL: ‘Unable’
ATC: WHY?! You’re 20 miles out with plenty of space and time, especially if you slow the hell down! ‘Cleared to land Runway 33’. Do it now. Or I’ll hurt you.
BoobiesLOL: ‘I’m sorry’ <<Continues on course and gets in everyone’s way>>
ATC: Seriously though, that callsign? There are 14 year olds on here that get very excited around language like that. And lets face it, we all know you’re a 45 year old from Hull called Kevin.
BoobiesLOL: ‘Inbound for landing runway 15’ ‘Inbound for landing runway 15’‘Inbound for landing runway 15’‘Inbound for landing runway 15’‘Inbound for landing runway 15’‘Inbound for landing runway 15’‘Inbound for landing runway 15’‘Inbound for landing runway 15’‘Inbound for landing runway 15’‘Inbound for landing runway 15’‘Inbound for landing runway 15’
ATC: hits ‘report user’ button so hard that it cracks the ipad

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Why does anyone control playground. I dont know why I put myself through it. That is hilarious though

Great post 😂😂😂😂😂

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I know I do it for the practice and because I quite enjoy. Usually I just laugh at the folk who seem to make extra effort to ignore what I’m asking them to do. Sometimes I wonder why I bother though :-)

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Its the unable that grates on me.
“Descend to 5000” , “unable”

Oh yeah that’s because you’re doing 700kts trying to rip the wings off your 747

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This is the funniest thing😂Soooooo relatable

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@Leodhasach… Toby, Your the man! Great Rant… Mad Max Sends

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There needs to be some kind of feedback measure for disobedient pilots. The devs need to come up with some way of generating an electric shock.

ATC - Speedbird123, make left traffic…
Speedbird123 - ‘unable’
ATC - ‘oh really?’ ZAP!!
Speedbird123 ‘I’m sorry sir, making left traffic sir, I promise I’ll be good’.

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This is awesome my favorite is “speed bird 435 request ILS for runway 09 in KSAN”
ATC " speed bird expect ILS approach runway 27 turn left heading 070 maintain FL100"
“Speed bird unable”
I wish there was a response
“Speedbird there is no mountain in your path please follow instructions”

Then all this is followed by
“Speed bird request frequency change”
“Speed bird request frequency change”
“Speed bird request frequency change”
ATC “speed bird stay on my frequency”
“Speedbird request decent to 3000”
ATC “speed bird maintain Fl100”
“Speed bird request frequency change”
“Speed bird request frequency change”

Switches to tower and they don’t send them back ugh.

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Love it!!!

Ah yes, first thing I do is check if I have someone looking after Approach. I think newbies tend to forget about that.

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Hahahahaa really Nice and I am not exited about boobies

Thanks @Leodhasach ! enjoyed reading that and can so relate to it! Thought it was just my wife who gave me funny looks when either controlling or flying on Playground!! Glad I am in good company!

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Thanks David! Our respective spouses are probably very tolerant people :-)

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You’ve got a shock coming you’re way in the future my man ;) I am definitely excited by boobies hahaha

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Or just drink too much beer, eat too much junk and you’ll get some of your own! #moobs

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True! Controlled a KLAX and it drive me insane!

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Oh my god I’ve done both of those for years now and still no moobies appearing!!! :’(

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You know what, if you PM me when you are controlling I shall come with the call sign Moobs 72. Sound good?

Ha haaaa! I might just take you up on that.

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