Stupid (Real) Quotes You've Heard While Flying

Where has the whole Ryan Air horrible landings thing come from? I’ve heard about the fanfair that plays when they land, being joked about as a ‘we’re alive!’ fanfair. Is this based on truth? Are their landings genuinely really bad?

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Gear lowering noises
Argh! What’s that noise? (Group of ignorant teens start chanting ‘allah hu Akbar’ because they are disrespectful morons that are not Muslims, just rude and thinking the plane will crash because of the noise.)


Naive: “My connection will wait for me” (Their first time flying, connecting to Las Vegas)
Dumb (1): “I’ll cancel my United credit card if we’re late” (DEN > ORD…in a snowstorm)
Dumb (2): “Why does the door need to latch?” (Ground delay in HKG, enroute to SFO)
Amusing: “Well, I was on the right side of statistics!” (After landing on a near-textbook flight, that guy was a riot)

As we all know, actions speak louder than words, but we’ll leave that for another thread…


Talk about jumping to conclusions, I understand many teens use that term in the wrong manner but how does the gear lowering even sound remotely similar… wut I’m so confused.


Qantas Fight bound to Perth from Melbourne:

  • The lady a few rows down yelled to her two kids before landing: “Jordan, hold that piss in a little longer”

(Pardon the Lang)


People got spooked by the noise and started speculating.

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Flying to Gothenburg -

Mum: I’ve always wanted to go to Gothenburg. It’s where Batman was filmed!

Me: Shakes head in despair.


(At security checkpoint)
looking at my ticket security guy: “how old are you”
Me (not really paying attention): “Mark” (my name). After that I got nervous they would be suspicious of me 😂


“Our flight is delayed because the flap deal broke, we will take it off another plane and put it on at the gate” (this was a 757) also "15 different devices at the same time going on in business class on a united 757 from IAH to LAX, and then “your flight is cancelled because of wind in Chicago” (there was but also they would have done it anyway as there was enough open seats on the next flight for eveyone) and then also (not gonna say what they said because it was lots of cussing) and again on a flight (I didnt know this was possible on a narrow body) but a woman with a baby beside me on both sides and in front a back all screaming the whole time, and the only one who wasn’t a baby or woman was a toddler!

“The co-pilot must be landing this”.

  • On a slightly gusty approach.

I don’t know, to stop you from suffering from asphyxiation perhaps? XD

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Why didn’t we land?
Meanwhile a plane takes off on the runway we were supposed to land on.


I didn’t comprehend any of that.

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