Stealing da Bison

Flight Info

Departure Airport: Denver International Airport (DEN/KDEN)
Arrival Airport: Jackson Hole Airport (JAC/KJAC)
Aircraft: United A320
Cruise Altitude: FL300
Flight Time: 0 hours, 56 minutes
Server: Expert

I’ve always wanted a pet bison, so I decided today was the day. I flew from Minneapolis - Denver and bought some bison stealing gear before hopping on a quick flight to Jackson Hole, where I could sneak a few bison out from right under Mr. United403’s nose. Our flight was right on time, which was good. I had a tight schedule for my bison heist.

Positive Rate… Gear Up… Operation Steal a Bison is underway!

We didn’t need to climb too high for such a short flight, which afforded us some amazing views of the Rocky Mountains.

Already passing into @United403 land as we begin our gradual decent into Jackson.

As we made our convoluted approach winding through the mountains, I kept my eyes pealed for a potential new companion for Mort.

Wyoming has mountains and lakes?? Come on, Wyoming. Leave the lakes to us over in Minnesota.

What is this big rock doing here?

Jackson Hole doesn’t have a very long runway, making for a rather abrupt landing.

Our rollout took up nearly the entire runway.

Parked safely at the gate, I could go and steal a bison and make a speedy escape before the 3 people who live in Wyoming notice.


I love da bison. I live in Bozeman, MT.

@Mort I’ll just give you 10 bison free of charge bc the pictures are stunning 🤩

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@Mort just fyi, bringing bison on United airlines flights is strictly prohibited

Speaking from experience 🦬

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great pictures as always Mort keep it up, could you possibly pass me a few bison My cat Bob needs a new friend…


Now you gotta load the bison and get in the C-17 and fly to ADW to steal my monuments.

Sorry meant to reply to @Mort

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Bison are endangered species, I’m reporting you to the authorities for illegal poaching. Be prepared to have FBI at your doorstep shortly




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Ngl that’s exactly what I had in mind


@Ronni_Fuentes doesn’t know abt the bison of @United403.

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Here’s some statistics

  1. united403 has 100,000+ bison
  2. every single one of them is treated like royalty
  3. they all have their own Global 7500, Ferrari and house
  4. they trust me to protect them and I vow to them everyday that I will do just that 🫡🦬♥️

Been there done that 😎

You’re the bison king, so you get to make your own rules.

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I would 100% be paying overweight bag fees.

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I treat my bison with even more royalty than royalty.

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(Yes I have 3 bison)