A little while ago, the IFC’s favorite Wyomingite @United403 agreed to give me ten bison. I was more than excited to take them, but two months in, I must admit the bison get a little stressful sometimes. They eat all my food, charge at my dog, and try to get on my bed with me. Don’t get me wrong, they’re great, but they’re also a bit much.
So to seek a little respite and a short break from parenthood, I decided to do what any good father would do: send them away on vacation. More specifically, I sent them back home to @United403 during his spring break, so they could explore their homeland and get to know other bison.
Flight #1: CHS-DEN, United A320
At that gate in Charleston. I booked my bison a flight on United Airlines, economy class because they spent all my money I’m not rich. 
En route over the South. Try to spot the hidden bison in this photo! 
Landing in Denver, with an exceptionally stubby looking A320.
From Denver, the bison took a fleet of multiple Uber XLs to United’s college; they then all flew to Jackson with him, on my dollar.
Flight #2: DEN-CHS, Southwest Boeing 737-700
Pushing back in Denver. I’m broke, so I couldn’t afford to book the bison on United again. Still, the bison took advantage of Southwest’s (soon-to-be discontinued) free checked bag policy, in which they packed all their toiletries and clothing.
Over the mountains of North Carolina (@DJW summon).
Touchdown! Don’t mind the absolute ignoring of the centerline and the outrageous angle I landed at.
From Charleston, I picked up my bison and drove them back home in my specialized bison transport van. I’m sure their vacation was fun, they’ll tell me all about once I teach them how to talk.
Thanks for reading!
Favorite photo?
- 1
- 2
- 3
- 4
- 5
- 6
Do you love da bison?
- Yes
(not biased btw)
