Welcome back to me bullying a Airline, in today’s list we have United, “Fly the friendly skies” they say, well let’s see how friendly the skies really are. In today’s episode of Top Gear, woops wrong script…In today’s episode of United, We make you lose money.
Disclaimer, I could care less if you like United, I bully everyone.
At gate the pilots found a tiny problem, They are a tad heavy so what do we do? CORRECT we drag 58 passengers off the aircraft and throw any child under 6 into the Cargo Bay.
Never the less we takeoff 1 Hour behind schedual but who cares WE ARE UNITED
Only good thing if the veiw of the French Alps, pretty solid sadly we had to throw a guy over board because he was drinking to much apply juice.
Nothing happened over the Atlantic, a mother asked if she can go see her kid in the Cargo Bay but we locked her in there too.
Ah Chicago, I hate you😃
Finally landing at KORD, Sadly we got 56 Bullet Holes in our aircraft, but hey to Compensate you get a free bus ride to Chicagos BEAN
Welcome to Chicago, Go pick up your Luggage if it even made it from Italy, oh and by the way Since we are environmentally friendly we have no Gate no, CarStairs so just use the force of gravity to leave, Or be pushed🥰
And that brings us to a much needed close, thanks for flying the Freindly Skies and ONCE AGAIN JANET WE DO NOT FLY TO JOHN F KENNEDY.
Now if you excuse me I have a date with Airbus to see how many more years I can push our A350 back🥰