Expert server top tips (wrong answers only)

Hello everyone! Been a while since I’ve made a topic.

Pretty much as the title says: send your awful expert server tips below.

This is purely for the laughs. Please don’t try to attempt any of these.

21 Likes
  • When you’re cleared to taxi to the runway, you are also cleared to cross any runway that is in your path.
  • When told to expedite, taxi at 1kt/ascend or descend at 100fpm
  • Race other aircraft to the runway and take turns at 35kts.

I could go on for a while - but I got exam revision to do :joy:

39 Likes
  1. Ignore stall warnings as they are just motivational alerts :sparkles:
  2. Say “ready for takeoff” while you are still at the gate because manifestation is key :star_struck:
  3. When ATC gives you instructions, just keep saying “unable” :grinning_face:
  4. Start to flare at 3000FT to assert dominance :smiling_face_with_sunglasses:
  5. Turn on your strobe and landing lights when you are at the gate to help the ground crew stay awake :joy:
24 Likes

ALWAYS disregard any messages form ATC.

ALWAYS taxi at the maximum speed allowed.

ALWAYS cut corners where possible and cut through the grass to make it the runway in time.

IGNORE all other traffic and just taxi through them.

These are my best tips to be the best expert pilot out there! And don’t worry, you won’t ever get any violations from these instructions.

9 Likes
  1. Taxi at 50 knots to show the tower you mean business :smiling_face_with_sunglasses:
  2. Forget flaps, real pilots lift off with pure willpower :flexed_biceps:
  3. Line up on the runway before ATC clears you, they’ll catch up eventually :wink:
  4. Announce “go around” after landing to keep things exciting :airplane:
  5. Request pushback on a gate with no pushback option
  6. Park on the runway to save time between flights :stopwatch:
  7. Set autopilot right after rotation, then go make a sandwich :sandwich:
  8. Forget the landing gear, the runway will forgive you :heart:
25 Likes

ATC: Turn left heading 300°…Cleared ILS runway 27…

Pilot: I’m just going keep flying at 300°…

20 Likes

• When descending, maintain Mach 0.85 until 300 ft before touchdown- that saves time

• Make sure to do phenomenal aerobatics over crowded and controlled airports, people will enjoy the show and cheer

4 Likes

Use callsign ‘Air Force One’ or ‘Air Force Two’ and disregard all instructions no level 2 or 3 violations going your way!

7 Likes

Don’t listen to these :DDDD

3 Likes

If ATC gives you a runway you don’t like just say “UNABLE” and request your preferred one, they’re just testing to see if you’re brave enough to decline, they’ll be very proud of you and will assign and clear you the runway you actually wanted straight away!

7 Likes

Always use “Remaining in the Pattern”, then just fly to your cruising altitude.

12 Likes

do like this guy (i spammed bc this situation is freaked me out) THESE GUY HOLD SHORTED RUNWAY FOR SIX MINUTES AND ONLY WHEN I STARTED TO LINE UP HE JUST TAXIED AND STARTED TAKING OFF) I noticed this in advance and didn’t continue taxiing. why cant we report other players

2 Likes

Wow…I didn’t expect an actual demo on what not to do.

3 Likes

Get past 30kts and entre the runway to start a rolling takeoff.

1 Like

Expert ILS approach at Paro Bhutan

2 Likes

its literally a real situation that happened with me on expert server

1 Like
  • Fly to an extremely busy hub from the closest airfield you can find. Make sure you conflict with those on final or taking off too. And do it in the biggest aircraft you can find.
  • Make sure to go full power for take-off and only lift off when you reach the numbers at the other end of the runway
  • Queue jumping on taxiways is encouraged. Nobody has time for this queueing nonsense.
  • At the gate make sure you turn on all your lights and all of your engines to make sure you’re ready to go.
4 Likes

This reel sums it all up:

5 Likes

Try to takeoff from a taxiway

Try to go through other people’s planes

Ingnore atc

And lastly spam the frequency a lot of times

1 Like

First you want to spawn at a gate on a busy airport.

Next, you want to auto start the aircraft and takeoff from where you’re at.

Do very inconsistent pattern work on any surface of the airport. I recommend flying inverted too. Makes it easier to see the ground.

Upon making your final approach, come in nice and fast. Mach 1 minimum. Inverted of course.

Once about a surface somewhere on the airport, you’re gonna want to do an inverted cobra maneuver for maximum negative Gs.

After that, you’re gonna want to activate your hyper drive by plugging in the release date of 25.2 on your flight plan.

One the hyper drive comes online, go ahead and climb a little before going straight down to no-clip into the ground.

Once ungrounded, keep going straight towards the core and activate the hyper drive.

Results will vary but you will know when you did it right when the universe stops existing.

Congratulations! You’ve reached Limbo. Hope you enjoy your eternity here!

9 Likes