For English, I am required to write a short story creative piece about anything. Now being me I chose to do it about aviation. Could some please read my story and give me some CONSTRUCTIVE feedback.
Cannot be more than 1000 words (it’s currently at that).
Must be readable by the general public, e.g. can’t say APU without explaining the acronym.
Mark Hawk opened his eyes in the hospital room, there was a slightly annoying beeping sound coming from beside him. When he turned to the irritating sound and finally was Abe to focus his eyes he knew it, he was in a hospital but why, why was he here? Quickly a nurse shuttled into the room.
“Hello sir" she said.
He responded, “Hey, are… why am I in hospital”.
The nurse quickly told him about the serious car accident of which he was involved and that he had some significant memory problems. She also said that there were two men from CASA (Civil Aviation Safety Authority) here to take a test on him. Seconds later they arrived, they explained that due to his injuries he would have to take a test to see if he was able to continue flying, he accepted and was given the test. It was only a few questions of which were incredibly basic like, what the airspeed indicator display? Obviously this only took him and few minutes to successfully complete the test and so he was given back his ATPL (Airline Transport Pilot License, medical, wings and his rank as a Captain. It took a few more hours but finally, the hospital discharged Captain Hawk.
On the way home, he decided to visit Qantas, his airline to confirm to them that he was legally able to fly. Upon entering Qantas headquarters, he took the lift the third floor and went into a room of which was overlook about 200 people looking over every single Qantas flight in the world. He quickly found Matt Hanks who was the operations manager and the person who scheduled all his flights. About an hour later, long after Captain Hawk had expected, he finally left the building reflecting on what had been said, Qantas high recommends taking a break but if the Captain wishes, he can fly but with a senior F/O (First Officer). Captain Hawk agreed that he should rest but also knew that he needed the money for his family and so went home to get a good nights rest for the flight the next day.
The next morning at 0500, he received a text from Mr Hanks saying “0635 block off with VH-VXD from SYD to MEL with senior F/O Skies”.
After a few hours of getting ready and driving to work, Captain Hawk finally made it to the flight briefing from where the crews got to know each other and talk about the following flight before going to Sydney airport terminal 3. They all get through security and make it to their aircraft, a beautiful Boeing 737-838 with the stylish airline name proudly painted on the fuselage. When that get on board the aircraft, Captain Hawk requests F/O Skies to do a walk around of the aircraft making sure everything is in perfect condition while he started with the preflight work. Just after F/O Skies left the cockpit, Captain Hawk realises that he can’t remember how to actually complete the work and remember the doctor saying “it is likely that some of your memory will be absent but only for a few days”. With this in mind, Captain Hawk got out the checklists and QRF (Quick Reference Handbook) and somehow managed to complete what was required. F/O Skies finally came back into the cockpit with the good news and said “I know Qantas said that I had to be here but do you want to do the flying and I’ll do the radios” to which the Captain agreed.
A while later with all the passengers finally boarded and with their push then taxi clearance, they made their way at a slow 15kts (28km/h) GS (Ground Speed) to RWY 16L (Runway 1 6 Left).
Finally after making their way to the hold short line, they switched ATC (Air Traffic Control) frequencies to TWR (Tower) and were happily welcome with “Qantas 123, winds are 344@10kts (344 degrees at 10kts), RWY 16L cleared for takeoff” to which F/O Skies calmly responded “RWY 16L cleared for takeoff, Qantas 123”.
And with that done, Captain Hawk pushed the two thrust levers to 50% then seconds later to 80%, they were off! Seconds later F/O commanded “80kts” to which Captain Hawk replied “80kts check”.
When the 737 got up to 130kts which was their rotate (takeoff/) speed, F/O Skies said “rotate” but Captain Hawks thought was using him turn vertically to compensate for wind and so he turned the control column right to be heading into the wind. F/O Skies became very confused because he was looking at his PFD (Primary Flight Display) and wasn’t seeing them going up and so he kept commanding “ROTATE”. With no vertical climb response, F/O Skies took over the controls even though he knew he wasn’t the one flying and therefore wasn’t allowed to touch the control column. He pulled the control column back so they could climb and to which they did but they immediately started to bank excessively. Then soundly the GWPS (Ground Proximity Warning System) and alarms started shouting “PULL UP, TERRAIN, DON’T SINK, PULL UP, TOO LOW TERRAIN, TOO LOW FLAPS, SINK RATE, PULL UP!” Immediately F/O Skies tried to pull the control column up as much as he could before the TCAS (Traffic Collision Avoidance System) also started shouting “TRAFFIC, PULL UP”!
For the first time, F/O Skies, looked up from his PFD to see them diving straight towards a Qantas A330 who was landing on the RWY beside them. He desperately tried to turn the aircraft but they both knew it was over. At 0655, going at 170kts and descending at 1500ft/minute the Boeing 737-838 smashed into the A330 of which had just touched down instantly killing all of the 440 passengers including the seven crew members on the 737 and 10 crew members on the Virign Australia A330.
Feel free to rate my story, when wiritng you feedback.
- Pretty good
- Not bad
- Could be better
- Definitely needs improvement
- Just restart the thing!
Thanks so much!