Aviation Humor

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A cool partner in the back seat


A United aircraft is en-route to Chicago O’Hare. During his tune-in with approach, their assignment of traffic to follow is rather… interesting.

Approach: “United 329, traffic to follow is a Fokker, three o’ clock.”

United 329: “Approach, I’ve always wanted to say this… I’ve got the little Fokker in sight.”

I’ll post more later, but that was one of my favorites.


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Wow, the look on the Canadian atc’s face was probably priceless!

A Lockheed constellation is in a retirement home. One resident asks “What constellation has that shape?” Another resident, a flight enthusiast responds “I don’t know, Lockheed sure has seen a lot those days. Just ask my friend, Douglas.”


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What do you get when you put a flight stick in an egg? A yoke… (sorry for the facepalm)


Allegedly, a Pan Am 727 flight waiting for start clearance in Munich overheard the following:
Lufthansa (in German): “Ground, what is our start clearance time?”
Ground (in English): “If you want an answer you must speak in English.”
Lufthansa (in English): “I am a German, flying a German airplane, in Germany. Why must I speak English?”
Unknown voice from another plane (in a beautiful British accent): “Because you lost the bloody war.”


A USAF C-5 Galaxy and a 747-400 were both at an airport on the ground. The C-5 Galaxy pilot notices his plane is way bigger than the 747. So he says to the 747 pilot “How much do you gross”. The 747 pilot then said “250,000 dollars a year, how bout you?”


Its also not my storie i got it from some aviation humor website

Cessna: “Jones tower, Cessna 12345, student pilot, I am out of fuel.”

Tower: “Roger Cessna 12345, reduce airspeed to best glide!! Do you have the airfield in sight?!?!!”

Cessna: “Uh … tower, I am on the south ramp; I just want to know where the fuel truck is.”


Mine was the Thomas Frick one and Manuella Duressel on pilotseyehttps://m.youtube.com/watch?list=PL49339CE786752C11&v=e5Ieg_6HDU4

You can look it up on YouTube go to the pilotseye page look for the Swiss 188 and watch the video

Flight 666 from AMS-HEL.

Flight 222 from MUC-TLS.

I may have messed up thr AMS and MUC destinations not my jokes.

Aeroflot flight 270 is on final approach into BKK. At the same time, a Thai airways a340 is waiting to takeoff on the same runway.
“Aeroflot 270 requesting landing on runway 30.”
“Aeroflot 270 cleared to …” the atc was interrupted.
“Get away, you ilyushin.” the Thai airways flight interrupted.
“Excuse me sir, we are an airbus a330-300, not any ilyushin.” the Aeroflot captain responds.
“Well, you are practically an ilyushin to everyone in atc, and an annoyance to every pilot in this airport. So you really ARE an ilyushin.” the Thai airways captain responds.
“Aeroflot 270 requesting clearance to get those crazy pilots out of my way.” Aeroflot 270 asks.
“I couldn’t agree more.” an Air China pilot responds.
(Aeroflot flight 270 is SVO-BKK in real life.)


I’d imagine the Denver Broncos would not need a 747-400.


Jesus christ a sports team flying around in a private 747 😂.

Just charter one of Delta’s or United’s 744s. Much cheaper


A guy dies and upon his arrival in Heaven, he waits in line at the Pearly Gates. In the distance this gentleman witnesses a Bonanza coming in for a landing and to his surprise, it crashes. A few seconds later he sees the same Bonanza coming in for a landing, and once again it crashes. Bewildered, the gentleman shrugs it off and waits in line. A few seconds later, again he witnesses what appears to be the same Bonanza, coming in for a landing and every time it crashes. When the gentleman reaches the front of the line, he asks St. Peter to explain what he just saw. St Peter told the gentleman not to worry, “It’s only God and he thinks he’s a Bonanza pilot.”


I dont get it?