Let’s leave STARs out of it for just a moment, since you’re just learning, but you have a lot of twists and turns in there with headings unrelated to runway headings.
For the north side, for those coming from the NW, essentially from the direction of KSFO, or if following STARs, from Hawaii or almost anywhere in the Packfic Northwest, you want to bring them SE into downwind, just south of the terrain which ends roughly just north of KSMO, then have them enter the downwind. Here, you have them flying at 90 degrees. That would have them angled 20 degrees toward the runway, and they’d get closer and closer. Downwind has a specific heading. For KLAX, that would be 70 degrees. After you bring them down through the terrain to the NW, have them enter a simple downwind at 70 degrees, then turn their base, which, again, is a specific heading based on runway heading: 160 degrees.
For those coming straight in, from over KONT, for example, we don’t direct straight in for ILS approaches, but we do use runway heading, 250 degrees. If landing on 24R, for example, you’d want to ophave them fly runway heading, but offset a bit to the north of the localizer (south of it if landing 25L). When it’s time for intercept, then adjust their heading by 10 or 20 degrees to slide them into the path of the localizer.
For those coming from the south, it’s the same concept. If coming from the direction of KSAN, you want to bring them NW up the coast through the SLI VOR around 340 degrees, as this is base heading. They may not be on 340 the whole way, mind you, but you want them coming NE to a point where they would enter left base, which again, doesn’t have a heading of 360 degrees, but 340 degrees.
If they’re coming, not from KSAN, but from further west over the Pacific or from KNUC, you want to bring them north toward the midpoint of the field then have them enter the downwind. Not 90 degrees, which now sends them 20 degrees away from the runway, but 70 degrees. When the time comes, have them enter left base, not at 360, but at 340.
This is not by any means a full and complete exposition of all possible scenarios, but it’s a rough outline of where to start the learning process.
Planning a snaking, boxy Approach isn’t very efficient. You also want to make sure your headings are related to runway heading, using the headings for the downwind and base legs, for instance.
KLAX is always busy. There’s no way anyone could use words to explain how to maintain separation. That can only be gained via lots of experience. You just have to do it a lot in other to utilize a single speed command perhaps to replace the need for snaking twists and turns. You want to keep heading changes to a minimum, so maintain your separation via other means, and ensure you’re not only concerned about your separation at the last minute.
Again, there’s no way anyone can write every consideration. It’s just something that has to be learned through repetition.
But, the path I’ve shown on the North side is roughly that of the STARs of those coming from the direction of KSFO. Southeast toward a point west of the field, south of the terrain, then entering downwind along the line of KSMO, eventually turning base at the appropriate time.
Same for Approach from the SE through the OCN (or SLI) VOR, then a 340 degree left base.